Not Ready For Toxicity

A friend of mine asked me yesterday had I been in contact with a person that is toxic in my life. The answer is no. Many people think that because you are related that you need to just come together. I feel because we are related you should treat me right. And maybe since you don’t treat me right, are we in fact related other than by blood? There are a lot of incestual abuse (sexual, emotional, physical, etc.) This type does more harm than by those where you are not connected by blood. The harm is to the psyche. It disrupts what you believe about the natural order of family, you struggle for normalcy, and your cry because of the places it reaches. It’s like learning the alphabet backward, being told this is how it is, and in your gut knowing something is off… but be quiet, you have no say. Sometimes the school of life and God teaches you the right way and your friends teach you love. Their continued offenses hurt along with the fact that they hold a covering position in your life. Then you have dumb —— that keep asking you “why haven’t you set yourself up to continue that abusive relationship” (that’s what their naïve selves are really saying)

I told the friend, “I don’t know how to handle the depth of that toxicity in a relationship and right now I don’t need to …” That’s it! There’s nothing left to say. Inside I know, it hurts too bad …

So God has strengthened us to protect ourselves when others won’t. The same thinking had me broke down for years. I have brandished my God given power and I choose my battles. Now, you cannot harness what God wants to do in my life, and to my own love for life, I will not either. And remember, in your heart of hearts, you don’t like me anyway …

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